I cut the buh-jesus out of my finger

Lesson of the night: When you get home after a few drinks, and want a snack before hitting the hay that happens to be wrapped in shrink wrap (like cheese), do not use a serrated, ever-sharp blade to puncture it.

You will likely slice into more than just the cheese you are clumsilly holding in the palm of your hand. Moreover, bleeding on your cheese is kind of a downer, too.