Face off with serpent

Ok, today I almost stepped on a huge snake while out in the Oakland Hills. And by huge, I am not proposing it was king cobra or something. But for a mere inexperienced urbanite like myself, it certainly qualified as huge. Even possibly gargantuous.

About 30" long, and at least an inch in diameter!

Using the blessed internet, I have concluded it certainly wasn't the typical Thamnophis sirtalis, or garter snake. It had the coloring and markings of a sandy brown rattle snake, but it's head wasn't enlarged like a rattler. And I suppose it also lacked the tell-tale rattle. But anyway....

Damn thing wasn't so tough. It went away when I threw a rock at it. The opossums and coons that live in my backyard actually are much scarier than this snake was.

Spastic

ugh. brother.....

Purgatory on the 2nd floor

Just minutes ago "Hell on the 7th Floor" made a return to Wurster Library. I have the culprit narrowed down to one of two individuals.

Suspect A: A rather pasty, disaffected-looking white boy, about 23-24, who arrived about the time the library appeared on itunes.
Suspect B: A guy sitting across from me with an HP Pavillion (poor guy). He's wearing sort of heavy soled shoes, a knit cap pulled down over his furrowed brow, and an oversized orange t-shirt that goes down to his knees.

More from "Hell's" library:

1. Godflesh
2. Hellacopters
3. Gang Green
4. Poison Idea
5. Pig Destroyer (I guess it is Passover, but...)
6. Stiff Little Fingers*
7. Tomahawk
8. Discharge
9. Carcass
10. Backyard Babies
11. Johnny Cash

I wonder where this guy hangs out when he's not at the libary? I remain intrigued.

*I suggest this band change its name to "Stiff Little Fingerz". The "z" adds a nice element of slasher-inspired flair.

Hell on the 7th Floor

I may have mentioned this before, but while I am online in our school's library (or probably anywhere in the Wurster Hall) I can view other people's itunes music libraries because we're all on a shared wireless network. Disclaimer: If you have your firewall on then you won't see them. But if you turn off the firewall - you're golden. Sadly, you can't copy music to your library (I tried that, of course), but you can browse and listen to other people's music while they are online.

Today, a freakish person was in the library. I base this assertion soley on what was in their music library. But because most people use a screenname for itunes, I couldn't tell who it was. This particular screenname was "Hell on the 7th Floor". In our building, the 7th floor is one of the architecture studios. So, using this information, I am guessing this person is an architecture student. I guess the rumors about the mental and physical anguish of studio life are now validated to some degree.

Here are the names of some of the albums and/or bands in this library, though I can't be certain which is which, since I am unfamiliar with the goth-metal musical genre:

1. Napalm Death
2. Blood, Guts and Pussy
3. Wiretap Scars
4. Reign in Blood
5. Apocalypse Dudes
6. Rudimentary Peni
7. Flesh Eating Foundation

Pretty intense, wouldn't you say? For safety's sake, I think I will avoid the 7th floor of Wurster Hall if I can possibly manage.

Don't people who listen to this stuff intensely eventually "snap" ala Dylan Klebold? Let's hope not...at least until I graduate in '06.

Ah, sweet innocent times in the dirt.

See where I grew up!

A lot of who we are is grounded in where we played in the dirt as kids. My first 10 years were spent on a 5 acre plot of land in the boonies of Oregon. The miracle of urban sprawl no longer classifies my first home in such a harsh way. In fact, its rather civilized out there now. But back in the mid-80s it was a whole other story.

Directions:

1. Type in www.maps.google.com, or click here.
2. Click on the "Satellite" button on the right hand side of the page
3. In the search box, type in 23880 SW Grahams Ferry Road, Sherwood, OR
4. You will see a rugged ruralesque photo appear. Zoom in all the way.
5. A little pink balloon shows you the corner of the property. I actually lived in the lighter shaded, rectangular-shaped parcel of land to the balloon's upper right.

P.S. I waited for the school bus on that road where the balloon is. So many long mornings in the dreary Oregon rain. The bus picked up at 7:22 a.m. precisely. Twenty years later and I still remember. Zowie.

P.P.S. There's another house in the midst of the trees to the east of my house. A weird man, who my mother called Dr. Dave, used to live there. He had a Porsche. He once invited my mother over to hot tub with him. At a youthful 7 years old, even I considered that sketchy.

Dream guy

There’s aggression in the air this morning
I got your ballerina tights around my head
In a samurai pose on the bed
Vanessa from Queens

It's frighteningly easy....

....to sit at your computer at 1:45 a.m. and purchase an unlocked GSM phone and all the internal gizmos you need for it to work upon arrival in a place like Bangkok.

It cost me less to purchase this outfit that it did for my US Verizon phone. Tragic.

The cool thing is that this phone can pretty much anywhere around the world that uses the GSM 900/1800 technology. This is the probable coverage area I can get in Thailand.

Unlocking the cell phone mystery

Ah, I think I answered my own question. Behold, the fruits of the blessed Internet:

Unlocking your cell phone 101

Happy 1-2-3

Today I spoke with a former work associate about my upcoming Thailand excursion I'll be taking with some classmates. Andrea works on human sex trafficking issues as part of her doctoral research at Univ. of Maryland. For the past couple of years she's been doing field studies in Bangkok and its surrounding provinces. Anyway, I talked to her today about the how-to's of getting a cell phone to work there. Oh, we also talked about the sex trade but that will be another topic du-jour for later posts.

This is what she told me. I need to find some independent phone dealer (one that sells not just one variety of phone or plan) and buy a phone that is dual or tri-band - and it must be "unlocked". I guess that when you typically buy a phone, you get it locked - so that you can only use service plans for whatever company you buy it from. If you can get an unlocked phone, that allows you to use the phone on local networks, including international ones. Something like that.

Anyway, I was told tha at the Bangkok airport there is a kiosk called "Happy 1-2-3" where you can buy a chip that can be inserted into your unlocked phone. You also get access to a local phone number. Then, to get service at local rates, you buy a phone card from some other kiosk vendor anywhere in the city in 30, 60, or 90 minute increments.

It makes sense, in theory, but ultimate success (i.e. a phone that WORKS) is contingent on a lot of factors. First, purchasing an affordable unlocked phone here in the States. Second, finding the Happy 1-2-3 kiosk at BKK. Third, finding and buying a compatible phone card. Lastly, turning it on and it actually recognizing the chip and connecting to the local network. Being a non-techy myself, it sounds very troublesome. I will investigate the matter further and will post appropriate updates.

If any of you readers has attempted anything similar to what's been described above, contact me with details.

Thanks.

Consumption update II

Logged in this past week:

1. Maraschino cherries (I can't stop eating them out of the jar)
2. A cheese brioche from Strada today (Huge and good - you eat one and don't need anything else the entire day. Trust me)
3. Americanos from The Beanery, Strada, and Espresso Roma
4. Honey Bunches of Oats cereal on my yogurt (the box belongs to my roommate Todd, and he doesn't know it's his -I don't think)
5. Edamame

Wait....time out. This is terrible. My eating has gone to shit.

6. Spicy V-8
7. Salted cashews
8. 2 huge pieces of Zachary's pizza (Tues) that gave me a bad case of hyperglycemia afterward. I haven't felt so lethargic since '02.

Hmmm. It appears as though an intervention should happen soon, here...

9. Ritter chocolate bar with marzipan filling

(I'm blushing)

10. Chicken Tortilla Soup, from the signature chef soup collection at your local Safeway

Don't mess with KITH

Upright Citizens Brigade

Live comedy is such a blast. Tonight I saw Upright Citizens Brigade perform at UCB's Wheeler Hall. They were sort of a younger version of Who's Line Is it Anyway, minus the token black guy. All these guys where white chumps, but entertainingly so.

I recall some other great comedy shows I have been to - I went and saw Kids in the Hall live about 5 years ago. Man, what a fantastic show. They'd stopped the tv show several years before, but they were still quite popular on cable and guest appearances. There's something just so irresistable about that rag tag team of Canadian comics. The chicken lady even made an appearance. I have also seen Bret Butler (not so great, but ok). I have a vague memory of going to see Janeane Garofolo, but that might very welll be a foggy memory of just sitting too close to the tv turned onto HBO.

The sad thing about KITH is their most recent screen effort, Brain Candy, was deleriously pathetic. I still got a thing for gap-toothed David Foley.

The state of tourism

Tourism. Also known as the search for authenticity and the journey of exotic spectacle.

In preparation for a trip to Thailand where 10 of us planners will find ourselves this May and June on a research trip, I have been tooling around the web looking for useful portals and tidbits of data on Krabi Province's infrastructure.

The results so far have been sparse, but what I have found is hardly worthless. The video link below is really worth checking out. It's full of lobster-faced Brits, Aussies and Swedes lounging around the beaches surmissing what the future holds for this part of Thailand. It's a depressing hoot. The dearth of a Thai presence in this video baffles me.

I guess it is a promotion video for tourism's return, but still....

http://krabi.sawadee.com/

P.S. I might have to get an ipod to get through this trip - music is a nice getaway if things start to get stressful. I need to have theme songs for this adventure, anyway.

Elixir of the gods

I need me...

...a mosquito net, a bottle of 30% DEET, and some baht.

Does anyone have a travel book on Thailand's provinces they can recommend? Krabi Province, to be specific.

Also, I am wondering if flying roaches are much of a problem there?

Duck hunting, Esq.

Johnnie Cochran was duck hunting in Montana recently, when he attempted to cross a fence into a field to retrieve a duck he had shot. A farmer suddenly pulled up in his pick-up truck, jumped out, and asked Mr. Cochran what he was doing on his property.

"Retrieving a duck that I just shot," he replied.

"That duck is on my side of the fence, so now it's mine," replied the farmer.

Mr. Cochran asked the farmer if he recognized who he was talking to.

"No," replied the farmer. "I don't know, and I don't care."

"I am Johnnie Cochran, famous lawyer from Los Angeles," came the reply. "I am the lawyer that got O.J. Simpson off. I'm the reason he is a free man today. And if you don't let me get that duck, I can sue you for your farm, your truck, and everything else you own. I'll leave you penniless on the street."

"Well," said the farmer, "In Montana the only law we go by is the '3 kicks law'."

"Never heard of it," said Johnnie.

The farmer said, "I get to kick you 3 times, and if you make it back to your feet and are able to kick me back 3 times, that duck is yours."

Cochran thought this over. He grew up in a tough neighborhood and figured he could take this old farmer. "Fair enough," he said.

So the farmer kicked Johnnie violently in the groin. As he was doubling over, the farmer kicked him in the face, and when he hit the ground, he kicked him hard in the ribs. Several moments later, Johnnie slowly made it back to his feet.

"All right, now it's my turn", said Johnnie.

"Aw, forget it," said the farmer. "You can have the duck."

Wasted paint

So I been hanging down by the train's depot
No, I dont ride I just sit and watch the people there
And they remind me of wind up cars in motion
The way they spin and turn and jockey for positions

Opening night with the Oakland A's: a strong D+ performance

Every year I usually go to one or two professional baseball games. Tonight, as part of a group organized by my planning class, we attending the A's season opener against the Toronto Blue Jays.

One observation: A's fans like to get all decked out. Seriously, I have never seen so much green and gold draped on people before in my life. People also came in animal costumes. We were up on the 3rd level and enjoyed being entertained by a particularly wiley 10 year-old girl who was dressed in a full body dragon costume. Her demeanor was so very strange. She was really getting into it, almost employing the method acting technique of dragon-play. She liked to carry on down on the access path like she was some disappointed, sulking dragon - but then she'd start hollering and jumping around all over the place in brash defiance. Reminded me of Ramona Quimby.

Second observation: Oaklanders will bail when the team does poorly, even on opening night. I myself left at the midpoint of the 8th inning and at that point it was 10-2, Blue Jays. But from the looks of it, people had been leaving since the late stages of the 5th. I guess people are busy these days and would like to get home for some precious sleep. Speaking of which...

Final observation: They serve a decent hot dog at McAfee Stadium. The buns were properly sesame-seeded and doughy. The dog itself has a hint of proper spiciness. Usually you must suffer with a dry, unseeded bun - something my roommate has mentioned several times constitutes heresy back East. And at $4.75, while not cheap, it's not brazen theft, either.

Go A's.

Urban Poll*

1. What do you find more off-putting?
a) Finding out the bar is out of your favorite pour and you must settle for a vodka soda.
b) You get home after a long evening out and discover someone ate the last brownie.

2. What do people tend to most misunderstand about you?
a) Your nervous need to make jokes to facilitate conversation
b) Your uncanny tendency to deflect direct questioning
c) Neither of the above, but this: ________

3. What tastes best after a long, arduous day?
a) A cold beer from the fridge
b) A properly poured Jameson on the rocks
c) A large sandwich of your preference from a local, popular delicatessan
d) A Hostess fruit pie in a wax sleeve
e) Anything you don't have to cook or prepare at home (see also c, d)

4. When was the last time you called home?
a) What do you mean by "home", exactly?
b) I saw my family over the holidays, so it's a bit early to be calling...
c) Last night
d) I keep trying, but no one ever picks up or returns the voicemails I leave

*this poll purports to have no scientific value and reflects bias and lived experiences of author

Azure Ray

So i'm waiting for this test to end
So these lighter days can soon begin
I'll be alone but maybe more carefree
Like a kite that floats so effortlessly

I can't claim to be so adorable whilst sleepin'

Thus begins the period of sleep deficits

Ah, that lovely time of year has arrived. No, I am not soley referring to daylight's savings time. I am referring to the phase of graduate student life that happens about 45 days before the end of the term, marking significant drops in the hours of enjoyable sleeping.

Sleep. It's so nice. And you really appreciate it when you only get about 4 hours of it a night. Allowing my body to rest horizontally, which scientists have determined should occupy about 30% of typical day, has started to become an irregular practice. I would guess I only spend about 14-17.5% of my day sleeping. The remaining 85% or so of the day is broken down as such: 15% standing and walking (showering, in line to buy coffee, getting between classes, perusing library book shelves), 3% cycling to and from school - leaving approximately 67% of my day sitting upright in a chair. Just like I am doing now.

I can actually feel my circulation being compromised. What's scary is that the worst of this cycle has yet to begin. Last night I was up until 3:16 a.m. And what do I have to show for it? Sadly, just some downloaded pdf's I found on Google Scholar.

Peter Jennings: respected news deliverer

Our anchor

The Washington Post
Posted at 08:07 AM ET, 04/06/2005

Peter Jennings
by Joel Achenbach

"The disturbing news about what appears to be an advanced case of lung cancer has to be coupled with awe at the gracefulness with which Peter Jennings told the world last night. Look at the clip on our web site: Not a trace of self-pity. Played it straight, conversationally. He had been told a day earlier that he had lung cancer and his voice was terrifyingly hoarse, but he has always been unflappable and he remains unflapped.

We always throw around words like urbane and sophisticated and cool when describing Jennings, who perhaps at times could be too much so, a bit superior, elevated, which we took to be some kind of Canadian affect. But a society needs people who don't panic at bad news. They're the ultimate grown-ups."

Like one, goes the other

ABC News: Peter Jennings Has Lung Cancer

The Associated Press
Tuesday, April 5, 2005; 11:35 AM

NEW YORK - Peter Jennings, the chief ABC News anchorman for more than 20 years, has been diagnosed with lung cancer and will begin outpatient treatment next week, the network said Tuesday.

Now I am truly depressed. Reports claim Jennings, a genuine trooper, will broadcast while going through chemotherapy.

I forgot that we still have Jim Lehrer. However, as fast as these guys are falling, I wouldn't be surprised to hear something from The News Hour of similar concern.

Clem Snide

To be exotic, and I did pretend
In the back yard to slowly undress
As you pull the twigs from my hair
That I'd put there myself, I confess

The continual repackaging and reselling of things that we already use...

I was at Albertson's this evening - in the rain - it's a good time to go shopping, by the way. No one wants to go out in the rain, generally. But if you have time to kill, and a decent umbrella, it's an ideal time to peruse the vacant aisles. Onto the products:

This is probably no surprise to my readers, but marketing geniuses are continually able to reformat our favorite products into new permutations. And, despite the fact that they pretty much taste or work in the same way, we'll enthusiastically try out the new version and stock up on even more of the old. Cleaning products are generally the guilty targets in this marketing angle. My roommate talked about "New Tide with Downy" for weeks, I seriously couldn't believe it! And everytime she does laundry, I hear her pontificating its virtues. But there are other examples.

Consider the burgeoning nutrition bar market: Recall the days when the only thing that existed was Powerbars? Now there are at least 39 different brands available. Each of those brands has about 2-10 different product lines; each of those product lines are available in anywhere from 3-8 flavors and textures; each of those flavors is cyclically updated to reflect the new trends in American taste preferences. Some products even make it out like they are specifically enhanced for female consumption! And just when we think there could be no more amazing discoveries in this saturated market, the geniuses come up with something new!

...and we keep buying that shit.

Example: I typically purchase Balance Bar brand nutrition bars. But on today's visit to Albertson's, I bought 3 pouches of thier new "Go Mix". It's basically a Balance bar deconstructed and put in a small baggie. It has the exact same nutritional makeup as their bar varieties. It's the SAME thing. (Or is it? - that's what they want me to think...)

Yet, I was, and remain, intrigued. Damn marketing geniuses.

Nice van.

In a van down by the river....er, marina.

Shipyards, marinas, and docks have historically been places where elements of the urban underbelly converge. Go to any marina or dock and you'll find some interesting people, trust me. I took a walk from 4th Street in Berkeley (near the Sake factory), over the pedestrian bridge that goes over I-80/580, and down University Ave. to the westernmost point of Berkeley proper yesterday. My intention was to watch the sunset from the pier at Berkeley marina.

Little did I know there is a parking lot at the pier. And little did I know that people like to park their cars facing west and watch the sunset, too, but in the company of bf's and gf's, alcoholic beverages, and what I'd describe as bumpin' muzak. Well, so much for serenity. Oh, the view of the Financial District and the Bay Bridge is super from this parking lot, btw.

People also live in vans and other recreational vehicles down by the marina. It's fascinating. I suppose because it is an industrially zoned area of Berkeley, long term parking and residing on streets down there is largely tolerated. Some of these trailers and camper vans look like they've not moved since before November 2004. I say go for it, as long as noise and debris around these vehicles stays to a minimum. But NIMBY, I guess. I already have enough people illegally parking on my street - they work at the hospital and take naps in their front seats during their lunch breaks. The hospital should provide some sort of lounge or proper napping quarters for these overworked folks. Something tells me that won't happen too soon. Go figure.

Oh, by the way, it's time to turn da' clocks up an hour. Here's for longer days and more daylight for mischief makin'!

Lookin' back

so don't stay mad
just some let some time pass
and in the morning you'll wake feelin' new

and if i don't come back
i mean if i get sidetracked
its only cuz I wanted to

Crux of contradiction

...now the revered Pope is on his way out. America has been waiting around all week for people to die, or succumb to the fate we've assigned them.

And if things continue, history will recall the moment when an invalid, the Pope, and Johnnie Cochran died in the same week.